Wednesday, March 28, 2012

please won't you be my neighbor?


apartment living lends itself to... character building.
you learn a lot about the human race when you share walls with them.
and if you're like me, you make up stories about them.
you make up super strange, slightly paranoid stories about them.

the peculiar characters that we live near remind me of "hey arnold".

one neighbor who lives on the corner has a mid-size suv with the license plate "hot legs". she's a mom who looks to be 40's-50's, her son a slightly chubby imaginative child who has adventures taking the trash to the dumpster. so, why "hot legs" on the license plate? my first thoughts: ex-stripper.

there's a large family of russians at the other end of the building, their daughter speaks english and the rest don't. a few weeks ago they had some sort of party on their "block" [aka, parking lot]... lots of scary russian mob characters. they were staring at us when we walked in and out of our apartment, and when driving. i thought they were going to break into our place and interrogate us.

there's another large family that lives on the other end of the building - i think they're comprised of a little girl [who plays with the english-speaking russian girl], her mother and father, and her grandmother. the grandmother is always cleaning or planting outside. they have lots of hanging plants, lots of animals, and lots of knick knacks. the father is always playing with the many dogs. the little girl is always building a tent or igloo or something. we've "hung out" at the community pool.

one family two doors down from us has a tiny little poodle. this poodle occasionally jumps all over us when walking to/from our apartment. this dog's owner's name is kenny. kenny is a big dude who says "hey" to us when he's out smoking on the lawn. his wife/significant other [who we dub as "kenny's lady"] apparently has an affinity for DIY projects! when i was redoing the lamp, she told me that she thought she was the only one who liked "doing stuff like that" because she would always get "weird looks" from all the neighbors.

one family that lives next to us is quite pleasant, they have a large family, their 3rd bedroom is over our living room. they have a treadmill in this room, and i think a baby crib... you can hear the baby's music from time to time, and the baby's cry which sounds like the squaw of a pigeon. i get strange thoughts when i hear that baby cry.

the "family" on the other side (we're not sure what they are.. we're not sure how many are living there) is of some sort of middle-eastern decent, and we don't see them often, but we hear them at all strange hours of the night doing who knows what. we'll hear them from 11pm-3am chopping something with a large knife, doing dishes (large, metal dishes, in a small, metal sink, sometimes in the tub upstairs), and arguing. they also smoke and cook really weird smelling food. so from these behaviors, sights, and sounds i deduced that they were indian vampires. 
and oddly enough, this past month i saw them (from our balcony) unloading black trash-bags from the trunk of their car to the dumpster... and it took two of them to carry each bag. O.O 

moral of that last story... 
1. joanna's gut feelings are normally right
2. we're glad that we're more than capable of defending ourselves

with all these crazy stories of the people i have observed... it disturbs me to think about what the other people are like that i have never seen... o.O

U P D A T E ! ! ! ! 

Jason came home from work around 6pm today... and what are the odds, but...
The daughter of our next-door neighbor (the family with the third bedroom above our living room) said to Jason when he got out of the car:
"What's your name?"
"Uuuuh, Jason"
"Good, now I can tell my mom that. She just calls you the Kool-Aid man"
"Well, she can still call me that if she wants"

I DIED laughing when he told me. Not only at the fact that they call him "the Kool-Aid man" [Jason has a red car with a giant sticker of the Kool-Aid man on the hood, this was my birthday gift to him when he turned 21] but at the fact that this happened TODAY, a mere hour after I posted this on my blog!

What are the odds?!?! We should go play the lottery (it's half a billion, why not?!)...

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