Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Learning

Feb 2015

Jesus has undone something in me that I never really knew I had done up.

Packing for taking Jason to Fort Eustis was harder than I thought. Jason was shaving his wonderful beard off while I began to pack. And I started saying to God, "I don't wanna do this. I don't want to pack. I don't want to go. I don't want to face this. I don't want to do this!"

That still small voice, He quietly said, "You don't have to want to. Who ever told you that you had to want to do this? There were so many things I didn't want to do in my time on earth. When you don't want to do things, I'm right here. I will help you through the things you don't want to do."

And I lost it.

Jason came in to me crying, wondering what was wrong and I said through the tears, "Jesus told me I don't have to want to do this!"

Who did ever tell me that I have to want to do the tough things in life? Certainly wasn't Jesus. I mean, like He said... He did a lot of things He didn't want to do while He was here. Like put up with us.

"Jesus said, `You people today do not believe. You have turned away from God. How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.'" Matt 17:17

Did I just assume from the following verses that I had to do EVERYTHING I don't want to do with a smile on my face?

"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world" Phil 2:14-15

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:16-18

I should not interpret from these verse to force myself be happy in all things.
Does Jesus require me to feel a way I do not? He asks me to seek Him out.
I should aim to not complain or be bitter. I should seek out the will of God by rejoicing in what He has done and being in prayer. I should count my blessings and rejoice in the many things God has done for me when it seems I have nothing to be grateful for.

In Matt 26, we see the turmoil of Jesus desiring to not do what He didn't want to do, but ultimately surrendering. "He bowed down with his face to the ground. He talked to God and said, `My Father, if it can be, let this cup of trouble pass by me. But do not do what I want. May what you want be done.'"

"The heart knows its own bitterness,
and a stranger does not share its joy"
Proverbs 14:10

Comparison is the thief of joy.

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