Friday, April 14, 2017


19 weeks, almost halfway there and I haven't written a thing about this season. So I'm on a bus ride to NYC, perfect time to gather my thoughts.
I always wondered how people "didn't know" they were pregnant, and now I know.
December is a busy month for all families, and our December 2016 was, to say the least, extremely stressful. I'm sure most are aware, but Jason's father, Chris passed away the morning of Christmas eve. We had already taken on responsibilities to help his parents, and helping Kim became paramount priority. We honestly didn't really have much time to think of ourselves, so me considering momentarily the notion of me being pregnant... eh there just wasn't really time. Especially since I had also just been in a car accident in which I finally had to give up my precious swagon. I was not surprised my cycle was late, it usually is when I'm stressed. When that happens, it's usually about a week late, but that week came and went. I made a decision that after two weeks I'd get the test, do the thing.
The day before I had decided to take the test, I got together with my dear friend Colleen. Colleen and I formed a quick and deep bond a few years prior, she and I both share the gift of prophecy. Though I'm still getting accustomed to mine, hers is well formed. We caught up on the past year or so of life events. Of course Scotland came up, how we are going to move there, our dream finally realized, and our goal to start trying for a family once we got there.
Colleen says, "oh, so I didn't want to ask bit since you brought it up, are you pregnant?" I told her I was unsure and taking the test tomorrow. She replies, "well, it's funny you say that, because God told me 'pregnant' the moment I saw you today." I take it in stride and figure we will know tomorrow.
I had been at one particular place of work since Sept of 15, and had started looking for a new job in Feb of 16. It was the worst employer with the best employees, friendships formed that I wouldn't trade for the world. But it was extremely stressful, and I still didn't have a new job in January of 17. This had been weighing on me heavily, Colleen and I prayed together about this too in addition to many other things. It was a precious and powerful time, and I will always see it as the definitive end of one season and beginning of another.
As you could have guessed, I took the test the next day and it was positive. It was hard to believe, and it's honestly continued to be hard to believe. Most of the time in these 19 weeks I haven't felt much different. Aside from week 15 where I had a good bit of nausea for the first time and vomited once (yes, in the second trimester). When I wake up I don't think I'm pregnant until I roll over or have to sit up. Most notably has just been the fatigue in the evenings and the occasional stretching feelings in the belly. At week 19 I've still not felt any real movement from this kiddo, sometimes I think I will have felt something but it's always very questionable, nothing definite.
What remains continually precious to us is that this baby came to life before Chris died. Even though we so desperately wish they could have met and shared so many precious memories together, its a comfort knowing they shared a short time here unknowingly.
I've missed my passed loved ones very much in this time, wishing Nanny and my other grandparents could be here to meet their first great grandbaby. Papa is very excited about being a great grandfather. I'm so grateful I have blankets that Nanny made, I get to snuggle my little one with something her hands created.
We have also loved sharing the news with those close to us before it hit social media. That's just really the best. Nothing will top Kashif's reaction, ask us to tell you that story when you get a chance.
We told my parents for my mom's bday, made a card with top secret information enclosed in a miniature "Clue" like envelope. That was lots of fun.
Kim was very excited at the chance of a September birthday to finally be in the family as it is the only month no one in the family has a birthday. But we would also love for this baby to be an August baby (to get here sooner heh!) and share Chris' birth month.
I had wanted to tell Debbie (NYC friend who I am about to see for the first time since her birthday in Dec) in person. We had planned a trip in Feb/early March, but it ended up falling through, so facetime it was. Her reaction was my second favorite. She just kind of screamed, fell over, and started weeping in typical Debbie fashion. But now lil nug gets some Auntie Deb time :D
The photo announcement (kilted holding a baby kilt) was a plan of ours for a while before even before Scotland. Kim had given us that kilt a few Christmases before, "for whenever you guys end up having a baby. I just couldn't pass it up!" That photoshoot was a challenge, I could barely fit in the kilt anymore, and I actually took it off immediately after the photos were taken and put on a different skirt over my knitted tights in the waterfall area of Bryan Park. No shame.
Other random things is we invested in a waterpick as my gums were more sensitive than normal, and bleeding a good bit. Without that waterpick, don't know how my mouth would have fared. Apparently you also build up more plaque during pregnancy bc your body doesn't see it as a priority... thank you waterpick for the assist.
Some know this, but we do not plan on finding out the gender. This is really because I don't want to know (nor do I want any gendered clothing ew), Jason does, but how could he keep that kind of secret from me for 4ish months? It would be an iocane powder situation "ah you're pretending it's a girl so you won't think that I think it's a boy" or vise versa.
The nursery theme is Singin in the Rain... you guys thought it would be Star Wars. Nah, too overdone. Haha.
There's so much to consider, and we haven't made all the decisions that have to be made, there's just so much. I have been slowly accumulating an Amazon registry, we will likely do Target as the other.
We chose VCU for delivery, go Rams (no alumni discount unfortunately). I love their approach, that birth isn't a medical situation to be remedied but a life event to go through with the help of trained medical professionals. They have a great team of midwives an a more natural way to bring in a baby, which I'm all for. It's been a delight thus far, especially since they also have a secondary location that isn't downtown!
Anywho, that's all I've got on the brain heading into Lincoln tunnel with my Bbie on the other side. We shall see how I fare NYC as a prego lady!

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