Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Musings of a Prego

Pregnancy realizations:
First time pregnancy is like filling out an application for a job you know you're not qualified for and getting the job and having 9 months to prepare for taking responsibility for another human being's life that you've never met and you have no idea how to be responsible for.
In those nine months you essentially go through a massive and condensed adolescence in which you have no idea what's going on with your body and you'd just like to cross your legs or do your toenails.
[ and how did women do pregnancy without the ability to google if what they were experiencing was normal?? props!  ]
Then there's this alien moving around in your abdomen, and you're like... Kato? Dat u? Open ur mind???
Then put your body through the equivalent of a car crash while the other human being that just came out of your body also went through the bodily impact of a car crash. You just meet em, and two days later you take them home forever (or at least 18yrs).
And your body will still be seemingly unrecognizable to you and still doing things you're completely unfamiliar with even after you've gone through this process.
And allegedly you'll like it all so much that you'll want to do that again?
My logic and reasoning side really has no idea what's going on. It is very confused by this whole ordeal and doesn't necessarily know how to prioritize with so much going on. So many decisions, so many feelings, so many preparations to make. Sometimes, I'm not gonna lie... sometimes I wish it was all back to normal. Sometimes I wish my life wasn't about to change 100%. I really have a hard time comprehending it.
This is why having the second ultrasound helped me so much and made me wish I could do that more often. As a visual learner, it gave me a visual to go along with all this craziness.
It made me see, that's - that's my baby. It's really there and really moving. Look at it's tiny toes.
I don't know how you mommas did pregnancy without ultrasounds, without seeing this little person before you met them?
We're in third trimester now. Midwife was concerned as baby kept trending ahead in size so she ordered an ultrasound to ensure nothing was wrong with the baby.
So we got to see the little squish today. And they're perfectly fine, just measuring slightly bigger than average (currently 3lbs) for this time frame, but nothing abnormal.
Look at this face. Look at my lil squish. Look at that lil nose.